Letting go of Ego (2)

The love story series

Letting Go of Ego

Episode 2 – The Days of Ego’

Even though I later got a scholarship to study in one of the best universities in my home country, I still felt Nedu was better off – he was going to leave the country. My parents and family were all excited and grateful to God for my success. I was the only one who did not see any reason to be grateful. For a reason I couldn’t explain I was beginning to quite dislike Nedu, especially when I see photos of him on social media with his new friends in his new school. Let me not forget to mention that I finally managed to say congratulations to Nedu, but not via a phone call nor a visit, it was on social media. “Congratulations on your scholarship award” was my comment on his post. When he replied, it was just a simple ‘Thanks’. From then on the communication between Nedu and I was just going to be casual and only on social media.

Time went on, from months to a year, and then to years. Nedu and I were coming to the end of our undergraduate years. Yet all the while, no talk. I just couldn’t stop wondering how friendship could just die like that for no reason whatsoever. Yet I continued to pretend all was well. I never went through my social media feeds and not see photos of Nedu in his school. I won’t stop getting notifications of Nedu doing one thing or the other. I found myself clicking ‘Like’ on a post even though I never really liked it. What about comment? Only when I felt obligated and they were just simple – ‘Cute’, ‘Nice’, ‘Great’. And when I discovered that Nedu was never commenting on my post, I stopped commenting on his too, except on his birthday when I managed to type ‘hbd’.

I was doing very well in school. Academically, I never went below First Class. Outside the class I was in my school Basketball team and the Music and Arts Club. I participated in several competitions within and outside my school and won several medals for her. Everyone knew I was a success. Yet I always felt Nedu was succeeding more than me in faraway United States. It was as though Nedu and I were in a life competition for who becomes more successful.

Things become quite complicated for me when Nedu started posting some sort of hate speeches on social media – “F**k Haters”, “Hi Haters”, “Haters, Watch What I Become”. It continued to get more and more annoying by the day. One in every three of his posts were hate speeches. I needed no one to tell me Nedu was referring to me, I just believed he was. It didn’t take long before I started posting mine too. It became a social media war for Nedu and I even though we never mentioned names.

I think Nedu should tell us what was going on in his mind all those while.

* *

Sincerely I really think I missed it. I allowed social media to get into my head. I was a victim of the bad side of social media. It is a place where you find people doing lots of things both right and wrong. And when you find so many people doing a particular thing, you think its trendy and you join them not bothering to know why they are doing so.

Even though the friendship between Mike and I went soar, I never for once developed any such hatred for him to the extent of posting hate speeches on social media. Such hate speeches as I was posting was what I saw other influential people doing, and somehow I just felt it was normal even though I had no particular hater in mind. As at then I didn’t even know it was a hate speech. I felt it was a social thing but I never knew my friend Mike was misunderstanding it because of our past. I really regret doing such a thing.

And Mike did mention that I wasn’t commenting on his posts, so he stopped commenting on mine. Sincerely I don’t see commenting on people’s post as a big thing though ladies take it quite personal. I was actually thinking it was only ladies who

crave for comments but I see I was wrong. Personally I hardly comment on people’s posts. What I majorly do is like it, but that doesn’t mean I have any beef with the person. Even my immediate younger brother who is also on social media too, I hardly ever comment on his post. It’s not just my thing and he knows it. So one would be wrong to take that personal against me. I could count the number of times I ever commented on people’s posts the last four years. Maybe it’s not a good habit but the fact is that I don’t have any beef. However with this now I think I’m going to improve on that. Maybe that’s why there is a comment box on social media.

But please tell me, what’s your take on this comment thing on social media, was I so wrong not to have being commenting much on people’s posts?


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